Date Night Done Right: Harnessing the Power of the Masculine

This article is intended for those in a relationship that is markedly balanced between masculine and feminine, and likely most useful for those in a monogamous relationship.  The article speaks to the masculine in the relationship.

We are very comfortable pouring our creative energy into our work or art, but there is an opportunity for expansion in focusing that same energy into our relationship with the feminine.

We tend to see the date night as 1) a stand-alone event that is separated from the rest of the relationship and that 2) is something that derives its power from the experience, not the sustained feeling of it. This is a problem because it separates things in the bond between two people and attracts in the idea of playing inauthentic roles to each other. It also gives the power away to the experience and is not dynamic nor sustainable (if it is only about WHAT you do on a date night, things will get stale fast, and you will both be looking for your fulfillment externally). By seeing this as an internal process of authenticity and connection, the date night experience fits into the ideal, supportive relationship more easefully.

Understand that this is a representation not just of you, as the masculine, and your partner, as the feminine. This is simply a holographic representation of you and you, playing both roles within yourself. Quite honestly, if your partner desires more spontaneity, intimacy, romance, appreciation, etc. then it is likely that you are not giving those things to yourself. As inverted as this may seem, this is metaphysically how it works. So, to sustain that love connection with your partner the way that he or she wants to be loved, you need to WANT to love yourself in that way. If you don't, then your expressions will be inauthentic, ungrounded, not sustainable, and not heart-connected. Therefore, what you will give to your partner will not be what is being requested. If you can be honest with yourself - "Am I loving myself as much as I can and in the way that I desire?" then take action upon that, you will have the inertia supporting you in creating a more supportive relationship with your partner.

Date nights don't start at 5:00 PM when you get off work. They don't start when you get in the car to "go out." They begin with the conversation that seeds the date night. They progress through the flirtation (sexual or nonsexual), through the exciting planning, through the imagining of the experience, and most importantly through the presence that you are demonstrating to your partner every moment leading up to the date night. The engine needs to be warmed up. There is not an imaginary switch that gets flipped to allow for a sense of "relief" in the drag of the daily and weekly routine.

Date nights also don't end the next morning. The power of the masculine is to be creating and expanding steadily and unwaveringly. If you see a date night as a singular event that is like a business meeting, with a plan and an agreed-upon list of action items - a to-do list - then you are going to bring that mentality into the experience. That is likely not what your partner wants and not want you to want, either. A date night can be a catalyst for increased sustainable intimacy, a sharing of who you are and where you want to go together. This only happens when you open your heart of the feminine part of you and see and love it.

Don't try to be something that you are not. By doing this, you are projecting an experience into your relationship. This is not an acting job (unless that is what you and your partner decide upon), this is likely more of an authentic combination of a reset and an expansion. It is about getting even clearer on the identity that each of you projects upon yourselves and even more passionate about the direction of your life together. The masculine can be hyper-aware of this and be present with the feminine at the same time, processing the feminine's intuition into alignment. This is a dance where both parts are equal and where both parts see each other as masters in their craft.

Notice the where / what of the date night is not discussed here. That, honestly, is secondary in the experience. It is the "why" and the "how-it-feels" that are the most important. The tool to take away here is not to focus so much on the physical experience as something that is going to derive the result, but rather the date night as an integrated part of the expression of unconditional love that you have for your partner and yourself.