How to Learn to Let Go

Do you struggle with holding grudges? Are you still hung up on a relationship that ended several years ago? We all have certain things or emotions that we have to let go of. Whether it is unrequited love, desire, anger, or yearning for something or someone, all of these make it challenging to move on from the things that are not meant to be. 

Is it possible to let go of everything? It is possible, but the longer you hold on to negative emotions, the more they will hurt. Letting go is in itself an art form. It can be empowering, but only when you have truly given up what's not meant for you. Moving on is critical to achieving more success and opening yourself to love in the future.

The Art Of Letting Go

How do you get over something? How do you tell yourself, "I need to move on in order to have a better life"? Unless you teach yourself the art of letting go, you will always find yourself disappointed, stressed, or in deep pain. You may scare away potential romantic relationships or keep yourself from persuing new employment because you're bitter about losing a specific job.

How do you find the strength to let go? Here are some tips to help you:

Learn to forgive others

When people hurt your feelings or do not agree with what you think, you can try to change their minds or get them to apologize. But if they refuse, then learn to forgive them. Not everyone will think the way you do. Not everyone will appreciate things like you do, but this does not mean they are bad people. Always keep the golden rule in mind. It's vital to treat everyone how you want to be treated. 

Acceptance is the key

When things do not go your way, it is pretty normal to feel mad about it. The situation may have gotten out of hand, and you are no longer in control. Allow yourself to feel disappointed. Feel the anger, and then teach yourself to accept the situation. 

For example, if you don't get an expected promotion, allow yourself to wallow in sadness. It is natural to feel that. Then, feelings of anger will step in. During these moments, you have to have a conscious effort to move past them after you've experienced them. It only becomes difficult to let go of negative emotions when there is no acceptance of how things turned out.

Remember to take in the power of now. When you are unhappy about your current situation, then you only have to do three things: leave it, change it, or accept it. You cannot move on from a situation if you don't accept what happened. The third option is always the best way to go. 

Deal with what you lost

Letting go of negative feelings, especially those that you associate with particularly hurtful circumstances in your life, is tough. For example, the loss of a loved one is never easy. It will take time before you can accept that fully. Allow yourself that time. Grieve if you want. Cry your heart out. But then, pick up the pieces together and deal with your loss. 

If you need help letting go, do not hesitate to ask for professional assistance. Perhaps you can talk to a friend or a family member. All these steps will lead you to ultimately learning to let go. 

Realize that you are stronger than you think

Letting go doesn't mean that you have to be a doormat. When someone makes you upset because they do not share your viewpoint or when they decide to cancel on you, hold your ground. Feeling angry means you believe in what you know or how you feel. It is actually a good sign. Be sure to take notice. You have your own opinion, and that feeling is valid. 

However, when others do not agree with your stance, allow them to believe in what they want. They don't necessarily have to share your views. The same goes for you. Remember that you don't have any moral obligation to share the opinions of others. If you don't believe in what they believe in, that's okay. 

You are much stronger than you think. Don't allow anyone to convince you to go against your beliefs. Don't betray yourself to get other people's acceptance. It is best to be alone than be surrounded by people who don't share your thoughts. 

Why Is It Hard To Let Go?

Acceptance and letting go of something, or someone is among the hardest decisions we can make in our lives. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to accept that there are things and people that we cannot keep in our lives. 

They may have come at a wrong time, or their presence in your life may not be meant to be. Either way, letting them go is the only way to make them and you happy. It may be the only way to free yourself from what is hurting you.

Have you ever wondered why it has always been hard to let go? When our mind clings on to an idea, it can be quite tough to give up. Here are some thought patterns that we may find ourselves in that are particularly difficult from which to move on.

I am always right

You think that the other person is always wrong. It's difficult to accept that the situation may be the other way around. You aren't always right, and perhaps there are multiple ways to be "right" in a particular situation. It's okay to be wrong, and it's okay to let others be right.

They are doing it wrong

You believe that other people should be living their life in a certain way. You think they should change. Like the above thought process, perhaps they aren't doing it wrong, they are just doing it their way, and that's okay.

My preference is the best

When others make choices that do not agree with yours, they are wrong. You want them to change. Other people are allowed to have their own tastes, wants, and desires. Let them have those things without getting angry.

I don't like that

This one means one thing -- it isn't good enough to pass your high standards. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it is wrong.

We should be in love

The other person should only be loving me. We can't force others to love us. Romantic relationships can be heartbreaking, but if you really love someone, you want them to be happy. Even if it isn't with you.

All of these presumptions make it challenging to accept the fact that we may be seeing things the wrong way. It makes it difficult to let go. It makes it even more challenging to let things be. 

If you genuinely want to learn the art of letting go, then you should offer yourself something real. Not everyone is like you, and not everyone will like you. You have to be okay with that.

Take a look at your current grudges, pains, or other emotional stressors. Pick one to work on and see if you can accept the situation or learn how to let something go. When you move on from pain, you will open your life to even more joy.