The Nine-Step Process For Overcoming Fears

What are you afraid of?

We all have something.  It might be really big or really small. Engaging with fear is a fundamental part of our evolution, and in mastering this process, we step closer to our truest nature.

So, we've created and have been utilizing this process to overcoming fears, and we'd like to share it with you.

Each step represents the primary task.  This is accompanied by a mantra to use in that step AND a more elaborate activity.

Here are the nine steps:

0. Center your self & set your intention

Mantra - I am.  I am here. I am calm.  I am happy.
Activity - Breathe.  

In through your nose, out through your mouth.  For at least a few minutes. You are attempting to get INTO your body, not escape it.  The process of overcoming/integrating fears is done from within, not from without. Focus on your breathe.  Feel your body. In and out. Feel your heart beating. Allow ANY THOUGHTS to drift past you. This pre-step is about having in your awareness NOTHING EXCEPT YOUR BREATH.  There is nothing to DO here; just breathe and feel your physical body. Do this as long as you feel it is needed, but for individuals without a meditation practice, you may want to aim for about five minutes. Don't look at a clock; just feel it. When you are feeling that you are nearing the completion of this breathwork, remind yourself of the intention (not expectation) of WHY you are doing this. Recall your desires of a more aligned and clear perspective.  State your intentions aloud if you feel called to do so. When you feel the discernible difference in your relaxation and clarity of self, and you have anchored in your intention, move to the first step.

1. Admit that you have the fear

Mantra - I admit to my self that I have a fear.  I feel this fear.
Activity - Actually, feel the fear.  

In a state of contemplation or meditation, go within your emotions without judgment and feel the fear.  Call upon the thoughts that appear to cause fear. Remind yourself that it is perfect that you have this fear.  There is nothing wrong with you. Sit within the fear. Be as still as you can while feeling the rush - physical, mental, emotional - as you experience it.

2. Do not judge the fear or the self

Mantra - I am not judging my self for having this fear.  I am accepting the feeling of this fear. I accept my self.
Activity - Refine.

This is the refinement process.  Your judgment upon your self for having/feeling a fear represents a compounding or layering effect that further distorts your connection to your ideal self.  As you sit within the pure feeling of the fear, which you may label as terror, self-doubt, embarrassment, or any number of other derivations of fear, notice the thoughts and ideas that are judgmental.  Notice where you feel as though you are being judged. Identify the source of that judgment as yourself. Then, I simply chose to relieve yourself of the burden of judging your self. You are operating as multiple YOUs at this moment, therefore finding presence (stillness, clam) will greatly assist your focus in this process.  You simply realize that the judgment that you feel is coming from you and choosing to accept yourself at this moment (not in the past moment or in future moments). This practice refines your ability to feel the fear with more clarity, which is crucial for the next step.

3. Realize that they are based on a belief

Mantra - I realize that I am choosing to feel this fear because I have a belief that allows it to manifest.
Activity - Get to beliefs.

After removing the unnecessary baggage of self-judgment, you are then bringing your comprehension to the table to remind your self that the only way a feeling (such as some derivation of fear) can be felt is if it is built upon a belief.  In this step, you are going even fuller into your multi-dimensional self by 1) being present in your body, 2) feeling as deeply as you are able your emotional reactions/feelings to ideas of fear, and 3) bringing into your awareness the knowingness that all fear is based upon a belief.  This is primarily done through the revealing of your free will. This may simply feel that the experience of choice becomes more tangible. You are affirming to yourself that you have a say in the matter of whether or not you will continue to experience this fear - it is your choice. The mechanism through which you HAVE chosen to experience this fear is by CHOOSING a belief that gave rise to fear.  Find yourself - while STILL FEELING your body (breathing intentionally) and the fear (through your heightened awareness/alertness) - knowing that you are consciously choosing it, right now, though a belief.

4. Identify the belief

Mantra - I choose to identify the belief that gives rise to this fear.  I clearly state this belief.
Activity - Go further into belief.

In this step, where you are still within all the parts of you that you have previously brought into your awareness - body, emotions, mind, you are not FOCUSING your self into inquiry.  This involved moving into a state of receptivity. You are CURIOUS as to what exactly the belief is that you have simply chosen that gave rise to this fear. Feel curious about this. Then, ASK.  Ask that the belief reveal itself. Ask silently or aloud. Ask your intuition. Ask your voice. Ask your intention. Use all remaining internal active awareness to focus on this inquiry.  Then, see the belief that comes to you. It may come as a thought, a feeling, an image, an idea, a physical sensation, a knowingness, or something else. When you feel as though you have received an answer, confirm that is the answer - refine it. "Is this the belief? What is about this thought/idea that represents a belief?" Don't pretend in this step, and don't rush it, but also be VERY mindful of overthinking it. Remember, the answer is easy. You made this decision, so it should feel like a fit - it should CLICK IN with the fear that you are having.  You then want to be able to experience the connection between belief and fear. Tangibly lock it in: THIS BELIEF = THIS FEAR. They are interlinked. See this connection, and even conceptualize it if you are able - into the roots of a tree extending through to the branches. Once you have established this connection and are thoroughly convinced that this is the foundational representation of the fear, move to the next step.

5. Realize that the belief is a choice

Mantra - I accept that I have chosen this belief.  I am choosing this belief right now.
Activity - Now, bring back in your knowingness, once again, that you have a choice.  

We do this multiple times because, ultimately, this is actually the only thing that we are doing here - recalling a more sovereign version of self as free agency, held down by nothing other than the idea that we are limited.  Simply remind yourself directly and undeniably that you are free to will, that this belief that you have made tangible and connected to the fear within the intention to transcend it is something that you are actively choosing. Again, you are not looking at the past nor the future.  Simply RIGHT NOW. You are CHOOSING this belief, right now. See yourself choosing it actively. This may initially feel dis-empowering because, of course, what the hell, why are you choosing this fear? Ride through this emotional wave by reminding yourself that you HAVE a choice.  Steer your awareness away from, "Why have I don this?" - which is simply a manifestation of judging yourself - into "I am the creator, and I accept that I have and AM choosing this belief."

6. Ask yourself if you would like to continue to choose that belief

Mantra - I accept that I am able to choose my beliefs. I would not like to choose this belief right now because it is no longer supportive of me.
Activity - It's all downhill from here!  Your energy may magnetize you towards the inevitable outcome of choosing a preferred belief, but be sure it is not a shadow aspect of your ego by continuing to be within your breath.  

It is in this step that you will feel the fear releasing, or integrating.  You will feel the feeling of transcendence. Ask your self, HONESTLY, if you would like to continue to believe this belief.  Be objective. There may be a reason that you would like to consider keeping this belief. But you will only be able to see that reasoning if you ask, clearly and directly.  If there is a reason to keep a belief, PERFECT. Then just ask yourself if THAT reason is serving you. Go into THAT feeling / that narrative that you are telling yourself. Once you have explored it, then ask yourself again, "Would I like to continue to believe this belief?" Once you reach an objective and thoughtful, "No," move to the next step.

7. Ask if there is a more optimal belief to hold

Mantra - I accept that there is a more optimal belief that I may choose to hold in replacement of the old belief.
Activity - Without intention, the void will fill itself.  

Within the void that is the answer "No" to the question in step six, immediately find your inquiry into a more preferred belief relative to your intention (this, of course, involved having your intention present).  The answer to this is almost always very obvious. You will know the belief that feels better, that is more YOU, and that more fully supports your growth (like roots on a tree). See that belief now. See it in all of the forms that it comes to you.  It may simply come as you seeing yourself manifesting something that is on the other side of this door that you are walking through. It may be just a feeling of relief or ease or a feeling of your guard being let down. Go through all of the experiences that you provide to yourself and then come to a distillation of the belief.  What is it? What, exactly, is this belief? How would you complete this sentence: "I can choose to believe that ....." When you are able to finish that sentence with clarity and confidence, more to the next step.

8. Choose that belief

Mantra - I now choose this belief as foundational to my experience and to my thoughts, feeling, and actions.
Activity - In this step, choose that belief.  

You are now past any feelings of fear.  You are in a completely new body, a new person and a new personality.  Nothing that was experienced before has ANYTHING to do with who you are right now.  You have completely shifted paradigms because you have completely new software upon which you are operating. You've been rebooted, systems cleared, with new instructions. Anything outside of this belief system simply is not there.  This is your new reality. It's a very, very easy feeling. There is no need, at this moment, to go back into the fear or old belief to "check to make sure." That is simply your ego-self attempting to lure back into confusion. You know who you are now - you are the process of choice, being expressed at THIS moment as XXX belief that you have now chosen.

9. Reinforce that belief in every way possible

Mantra - I choose to reinforce this belief in every way that I can.
Activity - Open your eyes, move your body.  

Bring this clarity with you.  Conduct an activity that is slow and intentional, such as cooking or cleaning or taking a casual walk outside in nature.  Ground it in! This is you now. In the moments and minutes and hours after going through these steps, your intention is to be still within this new you.  Yes, you've got other things going on and "lots" of things to think about, but let that be secondary here. Truly, put this transformation as the exciting only thing that is in your awareness now.  Look around as see the world - the people, the conflict, the situations - through the eyes of the person with this new belief. You are now that person. Reinforcing this softly and intentionally is key.  Do not attempt then to manifest your greatest fear ever to test yourself to see how you did. That's not you. That's not what this person does. It's about seeing through the fear as it organically arises, not magically creating it to verify your self.  That is an expression of doubt that you no longer embody. Be very attentive and slow in your the first few minutes after this, then progress into the document for ideas on how to reinforce your new belief.