Why Do I Blame Others?

We blame others for things that happen in our life because we have forgotten that we are the creators of our reality.

What's The Solution?

There is no other thing that makes any sense to do in terms of contextualizing our experience when we operate in a paradigm of separation than to give your credit to luck or fate, or to blame someone else or some other thing when something goes wrong. It is logical to do if we operate with the belief that we are separate from our experience. The solution to changing the habit of blaming others for our misfortunes is to 1) realize that we are the creators of our reality, 2) recognize that, as the Creator of our existence, and knowing that we in infinitely kind and compassionate, we would not have created ANY experience out of malice or evil. Therefore the experience itself is an opportunity to expand. Finally, 3) we need to operate within this new paradigm as frequently as we possibly can.

Step 1: Realize that we are the creators of our reality

So, if we are experiencing the decision to blame others for things that happen in our lives, we must first recognize that we are doing it. We can blame someone for our success and our failures. They are the same idea, fundamentally, which is that we do not see ourselves and the source—the generator—of the experience. To recognize a habit of blaming, bring your awareness to how you answer fundamental questions. When someone asks you, "How is your job?" do you talk about all of the benefits, all of the things that you love about it, how it is preparing you for the exciting things to come in your life, the joy that you experience in your service? Or do you talk about how it is not helping you, how you are stuck, how you dislike your boss or organizational structure, how your coworkers are unreliable? The decision of what we do to earn an income is an indication—a very strong one—of how much we perceive ourselves to be in control of our experience. Why would someone choose to do something that they did not want to do other than for the fact that they do not believe that they are in control?

Step 2: Take control and expand

Once we can recognize that we blame others, we need to have the desire to shift this perception. If the willingness to change is absent, there will be no action. We have to stir up the emotional/mental/physical energy to say to ourselves, "This is enough! Enough letting other people control my life in subtle and overt ways. I am in control." The desire to prefer things, hold different forms of relationships, feel more at peace, make more money, travel more, and raise your children in a certain way, whatever the desire is, is good. If we blame others habitually, we will be unable to advance ourselves into a preferred reality because we will not perceive ourselves to have the ability—the power—to do so. We will be at conflict within ourselves.

Once the desire is recognized and the knowledge that we are the Creator, we can look out into our past and present and ONLY see the things that align with our future. We will have given ourselves the permission slip to do so. We know in our hearts that we are a "good person." We know that what we mean is no harm to anyone or anything, INCLUDING AND especially ourselves. 

Step 3: Operate within your new paradigm

Therefore, as the logical mind can follow this, ANY experience that we give ourselves is in alignment with our highest path, an ideal timeline, so long as we choose to see it that way.

Then, it's just about practice. Say to yourself, "I AM and the Creator of my reality. Therefore, there cannot exist an idea of truth that says that I am not, which means I do not blame. Yet, I've lived in such a way—perhaps my entire life—that reinforced the idea that I was a victim of my experience. I recognize that this is how I have been living and desire the change. I then acknowledge the need to practice this new way of being. I acknowledge that I will be accessible to myself as I retrain my brain and my body to operate in an entirely new yet familiar world."

Final Thoughts

Practice does make perfect here. We have to get into habits and routines that will support and empower us as creators. The default operating mechanisms of our society are the opposite in many ways, so we must be steadfast in the truths of our beingness as creators AND in the discipline to bring our thoughts and actions into that reality as frequently as possible.

Today, find a set of affirmations that support the idea that you are the Creator of your reality. These will help you shift the blame from others to understanding that you are in total control.