Why Do People Cheat In Relationships (And What To Do About It)

Removing all judgment of it, cheating is simply an activity that one does if they believe that they are not enough or that the resources that they need to manifest the desired reality that they prefer are not available to them.

But Why?

Here is how it works. Like attracts like, and your experience is a reflection, not a defining element. I will assume that you understand this moving forward. If you do, then, as you look around your life and observe people cheating, this is a reflection of some aspect of how you perceive yourself. This is reality, tough as it may seem. The problem is what to do about people cheating in your life is a lack of attention to YOUR thoughts, emotions, and actions as it relates to cheating or what cheating represents to you. By going within and first looking at how we think and act relative to the rules that we have applied to our life, we can begin to change the experience—the reflection reflects our relationships that are more honest and truthful.

Look Inside Yourself

Fundamentally, your experience of having other people cheat—be distrusting, cut corners, lie, steal, any expression of cheating—is about YOU, not about them. This is YOUR life that you are attempting to change, not someone else's. As you observe other people's decisions, keep in mind that the most important thing is what they mean to YOU and how YOU feel about them. An attempt to consider their considerations for yourself and apply your logic/beliefs is, in essence, a form of judgment, not acceptance. You can ACCEPT the reality of someone doing something that you would deem to be cheating, yet move into your preferential reality where that is not the case. When one of my former clients realized this as it related to his relationship with a competitor to the boutique marketing firm he was running, he was able to identify areas in his business to improve upon much more quickly. He was able to ACCEPT where he was at, and realized that his frustration with his counterpart at another firm was frustration within himself—inspiring him to forgive and forget!

Put A Different Label On It

Audit your labeling of something as "cheating" and determine if you are creating more of it because of your attention to this perspective. Remember, we are ALL brothers and sisters on this Earth doing the best with what we have. I feel this. Think of someone like your brother or your sister the next time that you perceive someone in this sort of negative light. Doing this will bring them closer to you. As you bring them closer to you, you can begin to see them as yourself! This is the goal, ultimately. When you judge someone else and apply a label to them, you are using that label and all the meaning you prescribe to it to yourself and therefore attract more of it. As you see them as a sibling and ultimately as you, you'll be more inclined to look THROUGH the actions and into their BEING. This brings about forgiveness—the REAL kind—forgiveness of self.

No one is doing anything TO you, so STOP taking it so personally. STOP being the victim. We create our realities period. It's a tough pill to swallow if you refuse to see the bigger picture of who you are. If you believe that you are limited to this body and this life and that there is some eternal judgment of your behavior and thoughts about why your body turns back to dirt, then this is impossible to accept this belief. Fundamentally, though, this is how it works. When someone appears to "betray us," it is the idea of betrayal that is to be looked at within ourselves. When someone "gets ahead of us" in some competition because of actions that we deem out of alignment, then it is the idea of the need for achievement that is to be looked at within us.

Focus On What You Do Want

Focus on what you DO enjoy/want in a relationship, not what you DON'T. This is what you can do. Look at the people in your life—perhaps it is just one person—that you perceive to have cheated you. Imagine that all you have to do to get more of what you do want (and as a by-product) less of what you don't is to SEE and FEEL the things you DO enjoy/admire/respect person and IGNORE the things that you DON'T. That's it. The more attention you give to any idea, the more it reveals itself to you in your life. Practicing this is EMPOWERMENT.

We are all doing our best. We are not our jobs, nor our achievements, nor even our decisions. To move past the theme of people cheating on us or in our life, we must look at what it represents about us to us.